beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Someone signed my nipple.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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