I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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