I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
