The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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