Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
