I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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