We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
