he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
