So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
