ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
im holly from the hills drunk
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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