She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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