Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
