so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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