Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
