I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
