HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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