I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
