Fuck appropriateness.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
