i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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