Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
