Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
