you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
