When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
