Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
