oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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