Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
