Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
