I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
