Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hate all girls vehemently.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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