are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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