And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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