Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
