He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
