Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
