I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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