I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
