I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
