you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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