My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
