now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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