Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
