I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
