Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
