am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
