Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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