I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
