The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
