Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
