I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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