Kiss
Puke
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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