Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
