i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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